On my way home, after I fed the homeless, protested against fur and took back the night, I found my way over to the St. Lucius' Home for Unwanted Kids with incurable diseases. There was one wee youngin', Marie, who had a dealthy case of sh*ts and giggles. The doctors said she may not make it past the night and my heart went out to her.
I looked at her sad, cherubic face, (while ignoring the giggling and excrement spewing forth) and took her tiny hand in mine and said, "Marie, is there anything I can do?" Marie answered:
My dying wish, (cough, cough) is to have a "so-called" reality tv star on a not-so-primetime NBC subsidiary cable channel, give me a signed 8x10 glossy birthday card that I can take with me to the (cough... cough) grave ...or an urn, if St. Lucius can't afford a grave and need to (cough... cough... cough) cremate.
And with that... it was over. She had passed on.
There was one thought going through my mind... and I think you know what it is... "But how do I know it's your birthday."
Well, Marie, I'm not one to shirk on a deathbed promise, (for a second time) so this JPEG's for you!!! (CLICK BELOW TO ENLARGE FOR 2D EFFECT)
P.S. Marie, if you're up in Heaven, can you make God pray that "Sperm
Donor" wins "Situation: Comedy"? I mean, it's not much of a huge favor,
you're already there. And if there is no God, please don't come back
and haunt me like that annoying Casper, (though I do have the hots for
his little witchy friend, Wendy. She's so good.)
Recent Comments