Here's Mark's Bravo blog for Episode Three...
Sperm Donors Need Not Apply
I think acting is the most difficult entertainment profession in the world next to ornery snake wranglers. Your average waiter-by-day-actor-by-night are typecast and pigeonholed more than any sitcom writer who ever worked on "Saved By The Bell: The College Years."
Take any sitcom actor, for example, Kelsey Grammer. No matter how talented "Mr. One Million Dollars An Episode" is, there are certain roles that our beloved "Down Periscope" thespian shall never procure. He will never land the role of a large black body wrestler, an anorexic teenage girl or one half of an actual Siamese Siamese twin. Writers have the option (of course not in reality shows) to hide behind their pages and change styles and genres as often as Paris Hilton changes Chanel outfits. Unless you are an imdb.com-o-phile, you would not know that the very appetizing "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory," the comically delicious "Go" and the vomit inducing "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" were all written by the same auteur, John August. Now think of every time you go see a TomKat, Bennifer or Governor Schwarzenegger multiplex extravaganza. Watching those corporate synergies, you look up at the screen and think, "How much did they get for their last picture?", "When are they getting divorced already?" and "Is Ahnuld really going to raise my car taxes?"
An actor has to make the best use of what gifts God (or in the alternative, Darwinian mitochondrial enhanced DNA) handed him. Therefore, when an actor actually tries out for a part that they look right for - they better damn well make sure they can knock it out of the proverbial and cliched park. Before "Situation: Comedy", Shoe and I cast an Internet short (a parody of the Real World taking place in an elevator, hence the title "The Real Elevator.") Although our casting assistant was Shoe's dog, Porgy, we still had about a hundred people try out for the film (plus the occasional downtime as we walked our casting assistant to the nearest fire hydrant). Then, as now, we went into the casting session with one goal, we just wanted to find someone that was good and funny. There's no big secret. The people that were talented and funny stood out from among the other hopefuls. Granted, on Situation: Comedy these actors had to get into the casting room, (and I wasn't inviting my brother, Stuart, to audition, although he does do a nice Catilian rendition of "Singin' In The Rain" after a few shots of Jägermeister.) Our casting department, (and kudos to Brett and Colin for getting us a first rate cast - as you shall soon see in Episode Five) had the explicit goal to find talent that will take our vision and make the characters three dimensional (or 3D as the "kids" like to call it.).
Therefore, it was amazing to see (and most of this was left on the cutting room floor) how many actors came in for the part of Clyde, the Sperm Donor and though they looked funny - (they got a laugh when they walked in the door) when they read for the part - they had absolutely no energy. I mean, come on, the part screamed Jack Black. It read high energy. The actors auditioning - a lot of them had numerous comic credits -read for the role as if they were auditioning for"Days Of Our Lives." It's a sitcom for crying out loud. Be funny!
That's why people like David Deluise and Eric Allan Kramer just blew us away. Eric walked in and he just had this tremendous physical presence that's really impossible to replicate by watching him on your tv at home. David had great shtick and so much energy, plus his comic DNA that can only come from being a Deluise progeny. And David even came prepared - he bought his own sandwich to eat during the audition to add to the inappropriateness of our Clyde character. Ha-sterical. Plus, David has this ten million dollar smile that you knew would be a great foil to any Kaitlyn. When you saw comic geniuses like David and Eric you left the casting seesion with a smile on your face. Because they made you laugh. Hard. That's all you can expect from sitcoms. Not reinventing the wheel. Just guys that make you laugh. A Sherman Hemsley. A Gabe Kaplan. An Alf.
So hats off to the comic actors of the world - and you better bless them - because they're serving you your halibut lunch special right now.
Fun Fact: Do you know that if your name is actually mentioned in People Magazine, the woman at Barnes & Noble counter won't let you have the magazine for free? Check out the August 8, 2005 issue, (page 36) with Jude Law (the guy with his own sperm problems) on the cover.
This blog is dedicated to my beautiful, funny and one-of-a-kind wife, Mindy, on our one year anniversary. Here's to our prosperity. Our good health and happiness. And most important. To life. To life. To Fiddler on the Roof!
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