MarkTreitel.com

Breaking News: Bush resurrects Renquist

Minutes after Harriet Miers withdrew her nomination for Supreme Court Justice, the White House announced that they were nominating Chief Justice Rehnquist to fill the position.

Vice President Cheney personally dug up the grave of the recently dead Chief Justice and presided over the Ninja-Voodoo ceremony that raised the deceased back to life.

President Bush was pleased with the results of the Zombie Rehnquist who had two specific orders: overturn Roe v. Wade and to not eat human brains.

The White House has possible plans to institute Resurrection as a national policy to lower the death toll in Iraq, create a Zombie National Guard and resurrect all of the Civil War Southerners to ensure the Republicans maintain their voting lead over the next 100 years.

Rehnquist is expected to be confirmed by early next week but may have to recuse himself if the ACLU sues on behalf of the living against the newly resurrected. Also at issue are Rehnquist heirs who are pissed they have to "give shit" back because he's no longer dead.

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I Love the Internet!

$700  - Famous Long Haired Dude needs room

I Design Jewelry. I can just pay rent. Or I can work for rent, I.E Housework, Gardening, Computer, Internet, HTML, Dog walking, House Sitting, Errands, Typing, Taxes, Cooking, Cleaning or Making Jewelry for trade. Actually, if you think of anything else you need done, I either know how to do it, or can learn very fast. You can see my resume and my jewelry on my website. I pretty much have my own life and stay to myself. I am personable and can carry on a conversation, or watch a movie or go out to concerts, dinner or clubs with.

How many more must die?

Today, US Military deaths reach 2,000 in Iraq.

I think it doesn't matter what side of the issue you are on, to feel compassion for the loss to our nation, and ther personal loss to families.

The question is will we see the headline:

Today, US Military deaths reach 5,000 in Iraq?

Today, US Military deaths reach 10,000 in Iraq?

Today, US Military deaths reach 20,000 in Iraq?

Can anyone really give an answer.

One thing is for certain, we would not be in Iraq but for President Bush's assertion that Iraq had nuclear weapons.  The only way we geared up to rush into war was because of impending doom.

Hence, the connection to uranium cakes in Niger, Dick Cheney and Victoria Plame.

The Cheney-Libby conversation occurred the same day that The Washington Post published a front-page story about the CIA sending a retired diplomat to Africa, where he was unable to corroborate intelligence that Iraq was trying to acquire uranium yellowcake from Niger. The diplomat was Wilson.

A year after Wilson's trip, President Bush cited British intelligence in his State of the Union address as suggesting that Iraq was pursuing uranium in Africa.

Today, US Military deaths reach 2,000 in Iraq.

OMFG: Cheney as CIA leak source

The NY Times reports that Notes in the hand of a federal prosecutor suggest the chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney, Scooter Libby, was first heard of the covert CIA officer central to a leak investigation from Cheney himself.

The newspaper said notes of a previously undisclosed June 12, 2003, conversation between I. Lewis Libby and Cheney appear to differ from Libby's grand jury testimony that he first heard of Valerie Plame from journalists.

Wow, this is an Oliver Stone movie waiting to happen!!!

How to Suck Up

Numerous people have failed to become Supreme Court Justices because they do not have the knowledge in how to suck up.

For your benefit, I've created a handy-dandy SUCK UP e-mail that you can send to prospective Presidents, CEOs and Messiahs.

Dear Potential United States President [or other position of power],

Thank you for allowing me to speak to you the other day. You were oh
so kind to take time out of your incredibly busy schedule to speak with me. I hope that your children realize their parents are cool. Keep up the great work. Your company is in terrific hands. Thank you for the privilege of communicating and
thank you again for your time.

Fondly,
[Your name here]

P.S. Thank you for receiving this e-mail and not pressing delete. It
shows how conscientious you are of other people. You are the most
conscientious person I have ever met. Again, you are conscientious
because you continue to read this run-on sentence. How does your spouse
not worship your feet? I don't know. You are too good for words. I
would praise you in sign language but I know how your busy schedule
doesn't allow you to communicate non-verbally.

P.P.S. Did I forget to mention that you are cool?

This is crazy

Lawyer for Saddam Co-Defendant Found Dead

The lawyer, Saadoun Sughaiyer al-Janabi, was abducted from his office by 10 masked gunmen Thursday evening, a day after he attended the first session of the trial, acting as the lawyer of one Saddam's seven co-defendants.
 
Al-Janabi's body, with two bullet shots to the head, was found hours later on a sidewalk near Fardous Mosque in the eastern neighborhood of Ur, near the site of his office, said police Maj. Falah al-Mohammedawi.
 
Diaa al-Saadi, senior official in the lawyers syndicate, said al-Janabi's family confirmed to him that he was dead. "This will have grave repercussions. This will hinder lawyers from defending those held for political reasons," al-Saadi warned.

Partiers in Cancun still drunk and stupid

Senor Frogs in Cancun sponsored a "Hurricane Wilma" party.

'Nuff said.

Sperm Donor not on list for Worst Prime Time Shows for Prime Time Viewing

I'm happy to announce that our sitcom "Sperm Donor" is not on the Parents Television Council's list of the worst Prime-Time shows for family viewing.

A bad storm rising

This is crazy but Wilma which was a tropical storm yesterday, a category 2, is now a category 5 only 24 hours later at 175 miles an hour!

Gathering strength at a fierce pace, Hurricane Wilma swirled into the most intense Atlantic storm ever recorded Wednesday, a Category 5 monster packing 175 mph wind that forecasters warned was "extremely dangerous."

The hurricane is the record-tying 12th of the season, the same number reached in 1969. That is the most for one season since record-keeping began in 1851.

So we had 3 cateogry 5 hurricanes in a span of two months.

Looks like we might have massive rellocation of people from the Coast.

If this doesn't prove Global Warming... then what other stupid signs do we need!

I think we should all move to Iowa.

The Philosophy of Ricky Martin

Ricky Martin, says the fame and fortune he experienced in the late '90s left him feeling bored and embittered.

There was a moment (in 2002) when I was onstage and I was just so angry," Martin says in the Oct. 24 issue of People magazine.

"I thought, `Something is wrong. I have the applause, I have a great band behind me, I live comfortably. ... I was starting to become a victim of fame. Everything was too serious and I wasn't enjoying it."

"When you work, work, work, something is wrong. You need to chill. You need to step aside and see where you've been, where you are now and where you want to be," he said.

I know feel morally superior.